I felt the call to begin a 6 Week Soul Therapy Awakening Sessions with Sarah about 3 weeks ago...
I reached out to her right away and inquired, but then I took about 2 weeks to sit with the idea and really ask myself if I was ready to embark on more work. (I know the commitment that this work requires and how much it asks of me, and so I needed to be myself to feel if it was the right time).
I thought so long and hard about whether I really needed it, and whether I could financially afford, and commit to it. I thought about whether it was the most responsible thing to do for myself while I’m not working as much as normal, and I’m not in the most ideal financial position.
I almost decided against it, but I was purposely letting myself stay open to receiving more guidance before shutting it down completely.
This little nudge kept showing up in unexpected ways throughout the days and weeks, only now it was getting harder to ignore. My intuition was speaking to me, and I was absolutely trying to resist it. Finally, I realized I needed to book a consultation with Sarah so that I could have some support with literally just hearing what the heck my soul was asking for by initiating this call to action. I needed a chance to ground into the whole idea even further because my mental resistance was keeping it all at a “safe” distance.
During my consultation I realized that it was really hard for me to let myself show up vulnerably in total honesty, and be seen while doing something that is just for me.
I also became instantly aware of how much difficulty I have in allowing myself to receive support, and love from another person. (This is especially heightened if I know the person, and they are a friend, or a colleague - of which Sarah is both).
The thoughts I normally brush off became so apparent as I heard myself say,
“I am finding this really hard, and I can feel myself wanting to slip away, distract and squirm my way out of being here...fully open, present and honest with you, and with myself.”
I started laughing a bunch of times, out of PURE COMPASSION for all of my one-on-one clients!!! It was humbling to be reminded just exactly how much effort this really is! (Bravo to you all! xo)
I got really hot, sweaty and turned beet red many times because of how uncomfortable and unsafe I felt in my own body. I could feel how much I felt I didn’t deserve to be there and give myself even this time and space to just consult and see what was calling for attention. (Hello --- This was it!)
As the consultation progressed, I found myself saying things out loud to Sarah, that I’ve only ever told myself in my own head and heart about a million times...and even though most of these things I have a conversation about with to myself constantly...expressing them out loud felt so equally liberating and terrifying. To watch someone else really listen and receive what I was saying on not only a verbal level, but also on an energetic level was so powerful.
She gently reflected back to me, what I had been feeling. The nudge from my spiritual child to dive deeper into this work for myself prior to her arrival...while I have the time to be more introspective and not as busy. How I felt I was answering a call of divine timing with the completion of my recent Doula training, and how my soul and spirit knows this as a marker for the deepening of my personal preparation for Motherhood. How I am feeling scared and unsafe about becoming a Mother and yet, it’s an experience I really long for, and know I am unconsciously keeping myself from fully creating. How I feel a bit scattered about what my next steps are, even though I know I’m supposed to be making some big moves soon on a personal and professional level in the coming months.
Intuitively, I can feel that these next 6 Weeks of Awakening will prepare me for other initiations to come later this summer and fall. And once I started to let myself be held in this consultation, I was able to feel my heart opening in ways that I don’t feel as often as I’d truly like. I could feel my whole body settle into a space of deeper trust in myself and all of the nudges and pulls I’ve been receiving over the last few weeks. It felt like confirmation, and internal validation. By the end of our call, my soul had completely taken the reins...I was ready to enrol in the 6 Week Awakening Sessions.
Stay tuned to continue reading my week by week reflection of what it’s like to go through a 6 Week Soul Therapy Awakening Session with a Licensed Soul Therapist. I’ll be sharing my personal experience as much as possible (of course I'll be keeping parts of it sacred just for myself), so that you can come along for the ride and start to understand what this process is like, and what it might be able to offer you!
Thanks for reading xo