I have shied away from writing a piece like this (though I’ve wanted to for years since I first read my dear friend Andrew Parr’s “If I Die” and was deeply moved and inspired to do the same) for fear that if I did everyone would think I was either ... self-proclaiming and hinting a future suicide (WHICH I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT FOR THE RECORD) or that it would be an auspicious omen or self-fulfilling fate that if I die shortly after this is published, that I somehow knew when I was dying… (WHICH FOR THE RECORD I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THAT TIME WILL BE)
But after having someone close to me pass suddenly, and being inspired by enough art and movies about health, healing, loving and dying I wanted to get this out.
If I die, and if it is possible to do so I’d like for you to lie and sit next to my body for as long as you need. Give yourselves time to say goodbye. Please clean, and bathe me with all natural products only. Do not change my body, allow it to leave the Earth in its most natural state.
If I am able to donate my organs, I would be happy to do so for someone in need.
If I die, I’d like you to celebrate my earthly existence in a way that brings joy and meaning to your own lives, and that of others. Raising money for a special cause would be something that would deeply honour and humble me.
And if I have any children, pets or family that “survive” me, I ask with all my heart that my friends and community take good, good care of them for me. Cook them healthy meals, the kind I would have fed them. Speak gently and kindly to them, the way I would have spoken. Hug them and cuddle them often, the way I would have held them.
Guide them, and love them for all of your love combined will be something like my own.
Do not cremate me with chemicals, or ingest anything foreign into my body please. I do not want to be laid to rest in a shiny coffin. If you must burn my body, do it in a sacred fire ritual instead so that my spirit may be released and returned to light.
Spread my ashes in forests, beaches, and ocean water.
If I die, return me back to nature. I never spent enough time immersed there while I was living...so I’d like to return there when I go. Take me to a place where there are no city sounds, or lights. Where the water flows clean and clear, and the grass is not sprayed with chemicals.
Release my body to the river, to the trees, to the animals…and place me deep within the Earth. Even plant me as a tree. I don’t mind if other creatures need my remains to feed and to live off of. If anything, I could owe them twice as much.
Celebrate me and the life I was fortunate to live with song, and with music. Celebrate me with your voices, and your dancing. Celebrate me with your prayers, and your actions.
Dance with my spirit, and feel me in your bones. For if you are dancing, if you are singing, and if you are feeling — well then surely, I am with you.
Celebrate with performances, and laughter, and as many cheesy or sad songs and dances as you wish. Tears are always welcome, and encouraged. Sit with each other. Laugh with one another. Get closer. Lean in on my behalf.
Share healing, and sacred ceremony together on my behalf. Tell your stories, because I will want to hear them. Let it be a divine mix — A colliding of the many wonders and colours, of my soul.
Know that I was grateful for so many of my days on this Earth, living and sharing in the human experience with you all. I am grateful I had all of the opportunities to grow, and feel so much of the physical sensations, challenges, and emotions that our souls sought out to evolve.
Most importantly keep me alive in your memories, by living your best life. By laughing, and experiencing the fullness of heaven on Earth. By being exactly who you came here to be. Take care of your physical vessel. Love yourself and all others even more for me, and live your soul’s purpose while you are still here, dear one.
If I die, Celebrate with Me.
“I encourage you to write an “If I Die” of your own, and to post your link Here. I wrote this for myself and my loved ones — I see how we operate under the assumption that we will die in peace with our families knowing our wishes. I haven't seen many situations where that has happened. It's my necessity to share with my community while I have this life to do so. This is a living post and could also change, I will update if I feel the need.” — From Andrew Parr’s website (Thanks Andrew)