I quickly realized who was running the show here, and it wasn’t me anymore. It was my mind.
Once I caught on, I knew another instant decision to shut that fear and mind chatter down right away. If I wanted to experience the authentic ceynote in that moment while I had the opportunity directly in my power, I would have to change my mental focus, and fully trust my body.
I quite literally had to change my story and mental framework to help facilitate my journey down this creaky 15ft ladder,
“I trust my body. I trust in all of my years of physical training, and I trust the support of my breath. My breathing keeps me calm and stable in my coordination. I trust that I will make it down slowly & surely and once I get in the water I will enjoy every minute.”
The adrenaline was high, and with each step it felt like an action movie packed with anticipation of my every move. Inhale. Exhale. One foot, step. Inhale. Exhale. One hand, two hands — grip. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
Once down my body finally let me feel it's jittery shake. I landed, I made it to the platform.
Then comes the part where I'm not actually a great swimmer so now that I'm spiked with adrenaline I'm wondering how long before I crash… Though as soon as I entered the water all that passed. Water changes you. The feeling was beyond euphoric. Swimming in the middle of a cave with an emerald canopy of trees covering the sky and leaving a heart-shaped opening to the sun felt absolutely amazing.
I began exploring the sides, through the hanging vines from the wise old tree-roots. The perfect set-up for climbing. Being able to feel your way around, pulling yourself up and being able to fall back into absorbent thick liquid. I got to practice my slack-lining (on a rope they had situated for assisting swimmers), and float in pure silence. I love floating, I float once a month in a sensory deprivation tank to help clear my energetic field and re-align my being, but this was something else entirely. The healing powers of this cenote were magnificent.
Once we'd filled ourselves up with as much Gaia healing as possible we slowly began our journey back. Again the fear, less so this time with a heart full of soul and spirit mana. Plus, I had one pass under my belt to prove my mind a good amount of wrong. This time, I was far more aware of the tools available to me, and I had just spent a good 30 minutes being really physical, further activating trust in my body, calming my mind, and practicing their balancing act.
I felt my heart beating now with a steadfast strength, ease, and surrender. You know, that powerful place when fear can’t hold our hearts.
So up I went, this time noticing though that my physical body was weaker than I'm used to (not being home and in my daily physical practices), and that I was experiencing a bit of fatigue. Another reason for my mind to engage fear and step in, "You're too tired. Now you'll really slip and not be able to hold yourself up." Again, I silenced it. The heart, I nurtured her. Breath in. Breath out. Movement. Breath in. Breath out. Stillness.
Finally, I made it out fully alive and incredibly invigorated. Thanks to adrenaline and the healing properties of this special place, I took a video right away because I wanted to remember this feeling, the story, and the journey.